i'm terribly sorry for whoever reads this;
it's just to vent my frustration;
&& at the same time express my opinions.
thankyou.

okay; here goes.

only one word to say.
Fuck.

I worked so hard for the minime fencing competition;
which is held in the early parts of the schooling year.
i though; "hey, i'm not bad, maybe i can at least put up a fight."
but NO;
the fucking 'c' division was cancelled;
due to not enough opponents to fight us?
so a certain teacher-in-charge of fencing& my coach;
don't get me wrong; i don't hate them.
brought liangxian up to 'b' division.

i'm like; so pissed.

he said we had to maintain a good attendance;
& so far the boys i know doing that are me& tsz ho.
not liangxian; not bryan; not nigel.
i understand that kenny can be in; as he's a senior.
but nigel cos he's a leftie;that's why you think he's good?
don't come& crap with me.

8 WHOLE MONTHS.
all my hard work has been gone to waste;
because they think i'm not good enough?
please luh;
i can beat liangxian& tsz ho just like how they can win me.
it's even between us 3.
nigel cos he got bronze in the first minime?
he's a leftie;
sabre lefties are hard to fence luh.
people say next competition those not in this one;
sure in the next one?
what if the next one oso not enough people?
how to answer that?

JUST SAY YOU GUYS LIKE THE PERSON.
YOU GUYS ARE BIASED.
call me 'mr idol' sound like you like me?
deep inside; you're just being a hypocrite.
coach oso; everything oso come say me.
my fault this; my fault that.
EVERYONE OF MY GOOD FRIENDS QUITTED FENCING;
BUT DID I?
NO. IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE PASSION.
JUST CAUSE YOU DON'T COME EVERYDAY TO SEE US.
YOU CAN ASSUME THE BEST OF THE TEAM COME EVERYDAY?
USE YOUR EYES& SEE.
SEE HOW HARD I WORK;
REPORT AS EARLY AS I CAN.
JUST TO TRAIN MORE.
I'M ALREADY ABOUT THE LEVEL OF EVERYONE IN THE TEAM.

i plead with you guys;
let me be in this.
i'll prove to you.
i'll prove to everyone.
i'm not the guy i used to be.
i'm stronger;
better.
& even if i lose,
at least i know i tried my best.

like my dad says;
"no competitive player wants to be on the bench."
& this competition; is my first shot for a shiny gold trophy in my case.

signing off.

i'm so lost;i'm barely here.
i wish I could explain myself;
but words escape me.
it's too late;
to save me.
you're too late.

went around telling around everyone i'd never fall in love. 6:09 PM